Why have an Inner Child Ball?

When Woven met a few months ago to brainstorm ideas for community offerings, the suggestion of a ball for the inner child emerged and immediately generated enthusiasm and excitement. Before we even articulated what an “inner child ball” would be, the energy and desire was electric. Something about the whimsical idea of a “ball,” evocative of fairy tales and magic, felt timely and right. So before we see you on May 10th, let’s explore the idea of the inner child a little more deeply.

We recognize that finding safety in community takes time, we’re learning to “re-village” together in a society centered on the stoic individual. We also live within institutions that may not have been conducive to being our whole selves as children, where our various identities weren’t welcomed. If our inner child hasn’t felt safe, it may be hesitant to come out. Maybe your inner child feels excited and a little afraid. That’s natural. 

There are many frameworks for understanding the self and general agreement that early childhood is a pivotal time of brain development and identity formation. The experiences of childhood shape who we are as adults–drive behaviors, responses, how we engage in relationships, the neural pathways that activate, coping strategies, emotional regulation, and our mental health. These can be more negatively impacted by harms that happen in early childhood (see: ACES). Various therapeutic modalities such as Internal Family Systems, Attachment Theory, and Jungian archetypes engage with the idea of the inner child, as a metaphor for the younger self that lives within us and that can emerge when faced with stress or trauma. 

Even for those who didn’t experience overt harm as children, many people feel like they have lost their childhoods or had to grow up too fast. We may yearn for those parts of childhood lost to us. There can be tension between a desire to cling to youth or childlike notions while also grieving the time we didn’t get to fully experience when we actually were children. As adults, we can also feel uncomfortable with dominant society’s glorification of youth that sidelines our elders and encourages a fear of aging. 

It’s so important to acknowledge that, in addition to the harms or loss we experienced when we were young, we are also shaped by the childhood experiences of playfulness, joy, innocence, and creativity. The more we attend to and care for our inner child, the more we can become more fully alive and whole. 

There are various ways to engage with the inner child, including revisiting and reframing past experiences with our adult perspective, which can help us have greater understanding and compassion for ourselves. We can practice allowing ourselves to feel our feelings when they arise, without criticism or judgment. Most importantly, we can learn to be present with our inner child when it needs tending, be a loving and mindful witness to our past and present.

In addition to the inner work we do individually, there is healing to be found in allowing our inner child to come out in community. In an intentionally-held space, when our nervous systems are regulated, we can access connection, relationship, and play! Playfulness has a powerful potential to help us find our way home to ourselves, to connect our inner child and outer adult to freedom and expression. And play can look all different ways: finger painting, joyful movement and dance, dressing up, sitting quietly and creating, being transported by storytelling, revisiting the whimsy of a tea party.

When we come together intentionally in care and community, we give the inner child an opportunity to be met with kindness, patience, and acceptance. It is our desire to share one such opportunity with you as we gather for Twice Upon a Time: an Inner Child Ball. Let this invitation reach your inner child and inspire curiosity, whimsy, and maybe a little mischief.

Come play with us!